From £9m promise to ACL agony
Connor Wickham has opened up on the "torture" of spending 18 months without a club, admitting he reached a point where he could not even watch the sport that made his name. The 33-year-old striker, once a £9m signing for Crystal Palace, saw his career derailed by an anterior cruciate ligament injury that struck just as he was hitting his peak.
Three months into his second season at Selhurst Park, following a big-money move from Sunderland in 2015, Wickham ruptured his ACL during a 5-4 Premier League defeat at Swansea. The injury, sustained in November 2016, kept him sidelined for over two years, during which he made just a single 90th-minute substitute appearance.
“I was flying at that point,” he told Sky Sports. “It was all starting to really, really come together. I was really coming to my peak. When I did that, it absolutely rocked me and the rehab probably didn't help a lot. If I didn't do my ACL, I think I would have been on a completely different path.”
The long road to nowhere
Wickham eventually left Palace in 2021 after a loan spell at Sheffield Wednesday and a season completely wiped out by fitness issues. Short-lived stints at Preston, MK Dons, Forest Green, Cardiff and Charlton Athletic followed, but none provided a long-term home.
His last spell, at Charlton, ended without a deal despite his belief that Nathan Jones could lead the club to promotion. “I would have stayed at Charlton,” Wickham said. “But we had the conversation and it didn’t work out, so I just had to move on.”
What followed was almost a year and a half in the football wilderness, a period complicated by personal circumstances that limited his options.
“I had quite a lot of stuff going on in my personal life at that time. There was bits going on that limited me to where I could go and what I could do.”
‘Torture’ on the sidelines
Wickham trained with a club – a mix of first-team and U23 sessions – to stay fit, but the mental toll of being without a club proved immense. Watching the game became unbearable.
“I got to the point where I couldn't stand watching football because I knew I could do what I was watching other people do. It was like a torture session, almost like a jealousy thing. I want to play, I’m ready to play, I’m fit to play, I can do it.”
Family support, especially from his partner and parents, kept him going. “My missus has been great in trying to keep me on it. On the down days, she’s there to give me the little pep talks.”
Grit, determination and a fresh start
Now back in the shop window at the PFA pre-season camp for the second summer running, Wickham is determined to find a new club. The experience has ingrained a resolve he believes only the harsh realities of professional football can teach.
“You either succumb to it and choose to give up or you just bite down, keep going and stick with trying to see the bigger picture. When you get back on the pitch and you’re kicking the ball around, you’ll always be grateful that you kept going.”
For the striker who once commanded a £9m fee and promised so much, the hunger remains. “I was never ready to stop. It was ingrained in me to keep going.”
Key setbacks timeline:
ACL injury: Suffered vs Swansea on 26 November 2016
League appearances between injury and late 2018: One substitute outing
Time without a club: 18 months
Clubs since Palace: Preston, MK Dons, Forest Green, Cardiff, Charlton
Source: Sky Sports
